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The Oil Is Missing

The missing oil has developed Whac-A-Mole technology, so we must arm petroleum engineers with giant foam mallets.

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Colbert Report: 7/29/10 in :60 Seconds

Stephen uses his apology box and re-enacts a “Real Housewives” argument with Andy Cohen.

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Thought For Food – Cereal, Foot-Long Cheeseburger & Ecobot III

Sugary cereals face tougher advertising standards, Carl’s Jr. introduces a foot-long cheeseburger, and a robot eats crap.

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Intro – 7/29/10

Bill O’Reilly issues a rare apology, the war on obesity has a new front, and Andy Cohen discusses Bravo TV.

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Apology Box

Stephen apologizes to the New Jersey State Police and Barney Frank without anyone seeing him do it.

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Sign Off – Cocktails

Stephen says goodnight with a cocktail.

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Andy Cohen

Andy Cohen and Stephen re-enact a fight between Bethenny and Kelly from “The Real Housewives of New York City.”

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The Word – Ownership Society

Stephen’s refreshing tax cut with lime will work its way through the system and trickle down like a racehorse.

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7/28/10 in :60 Seconds

Stephen demonstrates trickle down economics, Basil Marceaux runs for governor of Tennessee, and Elon Musk discusses private space travel.

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Sign Off – Bit of Advice

If you have your own TV show and want to give people advice, leave enough time at the end to actually advise them.

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