The missing oil has developed Whac-A-Mole technology, so we must arm petroleum engineers with giant foam mallets.

Stephen uses his apology box and re-enacts a “Real Housewives” argument with Andy Cohen.

Sugary cereals face tougher advertising standards, Carl’s Jr. introduces a foot-long cheeseburger, and a robot eats crap.

Bill O’Reilly issues a rare apology, the war on obesity has a new front, and Andy Cohen discusses Bravo TV.

Stephen apologizes to the New Jersey State Police and Barney Frank without anyone seeing him do it.

Stephen says goodnight with a cocktail.

Andy Cohen and Stephen re-enact a fight between Bethenny and Kelly from “The Real Housewives of New York City.”

Stephen’s refreshing tax cut with lime will work its way through the system and trickle down like a racehorse.

Stephen demonstrates trickle down economics, Basil Marceaux runs for governor of Tennessee, and Elon Musk discusses private space travel.

If you have your own TV show and want to give people advice, leave enough time at the end to actually advise them.