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Bears To Replace Soldier Field Grass With Plush Carpeting


Fan On The Street: On The Start Of The NFL Season


Tips: In Focus: Hurricane Safety Tips

Hurricane season is upon us. Here are some tips to help protect you and your loved ones in the event of such a storm:


Magazine: Don’t Show This Cover To Your Wife Unless You Want Your Living Room To Look Exactly Like This


Sports World Limping Toward Football Opener Like Mortally Wounded Deer

HAGERSTOWN, MD—With Major League Baseball’s postseason still a month out and college football weeks away from conference play, the sports world continues to stagger toward the NFL’s opening kickoff like a gut-shot doe spewing blood from its mouth an…


Staples Brings On Extra Staff To Sit Around And Do Nothing For Busy Back-To-School Season

FRAMINGHAM, MA—With the back-to-school shopping season in full swing, office-supply chain Staples announced that it would be hiring thousands of additional sales personnel to mope uselessly around the store and sullenly count the hours until closing…


American Voices: Number Of Illegal Immigrants Declining

A study from the Pew Hispanic Center found that with the economy continuing to falter, the number of illegal immigrants in the U.S.


[video] Packers Fan Announces He Will Return To Drinking For Another Season

Chris Lukawski, a longtime devotee of the Packers and beer, is confident his battered liver and family can handle another NFL season of unrestrained alcohol consumption.


[audio] Area Man Less Capable Than Own Watch


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In Focus: Gulf Of Mexico Inducted Into OPEC


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