Onion Radio News – with Doyle Redland

News In Photos

CHARLOTTE, NC—Frightened by the deafening music, the frenzied laser show, and the announcer’s booming voice, panicked Charlotte Bobcats…

HARTFORD, MI—On the outside it may look like any other home, but within the walls of 6535 Maple Ave. lies a terrifying secret: Every night, when the sun goes down and the moon comes out, this suburban bungalow is haunted by the restless, tormented souls of its residents, the Davidson family.

It’s Friday, so I honestly can’t think of better way to start the day than Heidi Klum all kinds of naked and covered in chocolate sauce. Here she is in photographer Rankin’s just-released coffee table book Heidilicious which is… …read full story

- Jessica Biel finally has a realistic perception of her acting career. [Lainey Gossip] – Colin Farrell produces another male heir to his drunken throne, but who shall be named king? Load those bottles with bourbon, men. The joust… …read full story

Onion Radio News – with Doyle Redland

A 5-foot alligator escapes — with its mouth taped — after a Florida Panhandle Fish and Wildlife officer brought it his daughter’s school for show and tell.

A woman mistakenly tipped $29,000 by the University of Notre Dame in her catering paycheck will return more than half of the money in $50 monthly payments.

Adrianne Curry posted the above pic to her Twitter today with the following message: My pumped upper back. I may look skinner, but I’m cut,bitches! Thanks to the magic of Twitter, it’s safe to assume Adrianne Curry spends… …read full story